chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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