thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
