I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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