Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize