this boner is exhausting
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize