I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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