there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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