U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize