YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
