that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
