So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize