What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
