apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Shame is for Republicans.
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