All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
