i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
