they need to just BURY HIM!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
