Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I will be naked everywhere
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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