belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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