Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
