I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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