i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
