maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize