I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
