my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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