She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
