There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
