wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
