I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
