i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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