I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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