She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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