i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize