Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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