Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
