Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
