i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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