D3 body, D1 cock
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
