We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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