I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
