I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
