My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Boobs speak an international language.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
