Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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