So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
