So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
