dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
