you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
