I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize