i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize