Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
