We're like a lot better than the average bears
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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