That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
