hotel room ftw
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
