My nipple is on Facebook.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I need a burrito and a hug.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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