after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
