Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
