the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
