he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
