We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You were trust falling into bushes
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
