Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
