Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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