my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Couch. On fire.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
