when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
