I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
