My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
