you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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