dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
there is glitter all over my balls
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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