Don't you send me to vm
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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